I was so moved this week after reading THIS amazing post by Jaime at Raising Up Rubies. The words she wrote were so meant for me. Jaime, if you ever read this I want to thank you for sharing your heart and for being so real. It made me want to share a little bit about how God has been working on me lately. I hope you guys don't mind.

I have been really blessed in my life. I grew up with two great parents and two super fun siblings who were (and still are) my best friends. I always had food to eat and a roof over my head. I had an amazing church family and lots of people who loved me. God always provided above and beyond. But did I take time to thank Him for those things? Did I appreciate how invaluable they were? Not really. I simply got used to the blessings and I got comfortable. It's sad that it took a really horrible trial for me to be thankful for all of those things that I thought were so small before. Now I know they were huge. I was am SO blessed. 

Infertility has been the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me. It's been the hardest time of my life, but my faith is stronger than it's ever been. Had I not been forced to endure this trial I wonder how long it would have taken me to get to this point in my spiritual life? Years? Decades? Never?

Is it weird that I'm even thankful for this season in my life? As hard as it's been I know I'm stronger for it. I can't put out the fire, but I CAN let myself be molded into something beautiful in the meantime. The alternative is sad and depressing. In the end, the phrase Jaime shared (based on Daniel 3:17-18) says it all. "And if not... He is still good". I'm thankful I'm in this place. I'm thankful for the peace I have even in the storm. I'm thankful for the lessons... no matter how hard.

The Good in Trials

Romans 8:28 (Print via Pera Press on Etsy)

When I am going through a trial in life I tend to focus on the negative. Don't we all? Trials are tiring, frustrating, and downright difficult. This past week has been a hard one for us. On Friday I had a doctor's appointment to discuss blood test results at which we received not-so-great news. On Saturday I started more hormone medication which is lovely as you can imagine {insert sarcasm}. Finally as if things weren't already emotional enough, Sunday would have been the day our baby that was lost was due.

So where is the good in this? I'm not gonna lie, it's NOT easy to find it. The negative is so much more obvious. I am in no way a super human that is able to instantly say "Oh well. I'll look at the bright side" when hard times come my way. I don't know if you noticed that this post is being written on Wednesday... that means it's taken me a few days to get to this point. It takes time, but I believe if you keep your eyes open that God will show you a glimpse of light even in the darkest of nights.

Today I feel like I understand a few of the reasons why He is allowing our situation to happen. No, that doesn't make the pain go away and it doesn't make me automatically "happy, happy, happy", but it does give me hope. It makes me realize that this isn't for nothing. There is a reason for all of it.

Thank goodness for these moments of sunshine in the middle of this storm... they are the best.